Adam surveys the pirates plunder So we were planning on doing this from the road, but all of the Internet Cafes in Las Vegas are gone. Apparently, the 70 year old women on ventilators that litter the casino are not yet "hip" to the internet and they all closed down.
And now a quick trip down memory lane:
Outside the Treasure Island hotel, they stage this giant ship battle where two ships duke it out for total domination. The pirates always win, so it stops being interesting after the second viewing.
Adam surveys the pirates plunder
We saw our first show. "Enter the Night" - a strange combination of topless dancers, lasers, bolos, gauchos and ice-skating. We were truly home. We walked down to the other end of the strip and adam had his first and ONLY success at the roulette wheel (or anything else for that matter). Bruised and Battered, steve and adam returned back to the room and watched the Chinese TV channel until they fell asleep exhausted.
Adam betrays Sony
There Steve experienced the single most prolific moment in his
short 22 years. THE WORLD OF COCA-COLA. MMMMM Coca-cola. For $2, We
drank all of the coke we could drink. They had 44 varieties from around
the world. As you know, Coca-cola syrup is insanely cheap, so they
figured they were going to still get their money out of us. Ohhhhh were
they wrong. WE have never consumed so many beverages in our lives. We
were there for like an hour and a half consuming each and every variety
(And sometimes asking ourselves what the fuck Germany was thinking with
that Bitter Apertif crap).
Adam and the Coca-Cola Fountain
This photo was a total fluke. It was not intentional. But it managed to completely capture the essence of Steve Carroll in 24 square inches of glory.
Steve no feel so good. tummy is ouchie.
We went to every bookie in town trying to find someone to bet on the
Oscars, but that apparently is a myth. No one takes bets on the Oscars.
Bastards! But we did watch them because the Oscars are steve's version of
the super bowl.
The rest of Day 2 is censored by Tipper Gore's PRMC.
I'll wait......
Give you a hint.... she had an entourage of men in black cowboy boots, black cowboy hats, and black cowboy suits....
Tonya Harding. Yes, that's right. The Tonya harding was across the hall from us with an entire squadron of Gilloolys. Later that day we ran into her again at Sega Gameworks (yes we went back, and no, we didn't get a picture of her riding the horse riding simulator.)
Saw a really bitchin' 3d Imax thing called race for atlantis. $10 for 3 minutes, but worth every penny. Thought we were gonna die on that thing. Lunch was at Planet Hollywood. Steve's graceland :-)
We also went to Seigfried and Gay's Secret Garden. Seigfried and Roy were
sort of the theme of our trip. We didn't actually see them, but we had a
lot of fun at their expense. I mean come on.... the place is called
seigfried and roy's secret garden. They're practically begging for it.
That roy sure does meditate a lot.
The Mirage. Home of Seigfried and Roy's Secret Gay Garden
Every story on the tour audio tape went something like this:
insert gay german accent here
I was meditating in my garden when all of a sudden I realize that Simba wasn't playing anymore. So I bit her on the nose and made the friendship noise! ssss sssss sssss!!!
end gay german accent
Adam meets Seigfried and Roy's Secret Gay Elephant
There are many many pictures on our rolls of us worshipping at the throne
of seigfried and gay (as Steve's uncle don likes to call them (yes the Mr
T guy))
Seigfried, Roy and their new houseboy, Steve
Next we saw Lance Burton, master magician. The only non-flaming magician
in Las Vegas. We hung out and talked to him after the show. I think he
picked our pockets. Fucking magicians.
Where are your hands, Lance?????
Give unto Caesar what is Caesar, give the rest to STEVE!!!!!!
We finally won some damn money by betting on the Bulls. The spread was
like 10.5 points which seemed a little high to us, but if steve realized
that if he bet against the bulls, grandma carroll would write him out of
the will.
We had an expensive chinese dinner at Madame Ching's.
Then we witnessed the glory of Cirque du Soleil's Mystere. You really
must see this. It rocks.
The Cirque du Soleil proved one thing:
"The only thing scarier than a clown is a french clown!"
We would have had to carry Pete out of this thing in a straitjacket, so
it's probably good he couldn't come. Steve is still having nightmares
about that baby thing and Adam is going to buy a huge trampoline so he too
can one day join the circus. (Can't blame him.... the circus chicks were
hot. I guess we were kind of expecting them to look like carnival folk.)
Well, We hoped you enjoyed our little trip wrapup. Next spring we are
planning on visting the Killing fields of Cambodia to atone for our sins
on this trip.
Steve Carroll/Frank McCloud
Day 5 - Virgin Megastore.
That's it. For like 2 hours. Virgin Megastore. 'nuff said. 
Adam rides the auto-sidewalk to the Virgin Megastore.
Got on the plane. Watched the sad expression creep over peoples faces
when they realized they had to sit next to Adam the friendly Ogre.
Another stupid adam plane trick is that the kid's head is unable to
depressurize. He explained why to steve, but steve still think it has
something to do with his fucked up friends. (just kidding, fucked up
friends, please don't kill me... I know you're all big scary vampires.)
Adam the Scary Vampire God at Lexor
So any one who sat next to him got to see him clench his entire face in
agony for like 15 minutes as he waits for either pressurization or
death... whichever would be quicker. Fortunately, the silverware was
pretty dull.
Adam Brasel/Jack Travis
ps those were our cover identities in vegas